Like many people, the Squirrel Nut Zippers remind me of being on hold with GoDaddy.com. They also remind me of my first “girlfriend,” who was deep into the swing movement of yore. It was a middle school thing that really didn’t work because no one explained the roles of a boyfriend and girlfriend. No one offered much instruction about what one does in such a relationship scenario. It sounded more like a social merit badge than a bond between two people. And yet, there were the standard flirtatious instant messages, hers was the first father I ever had to meet, and she was the first (only!) break-up through snail mail. It was a strange time in life. There was one fun night out to the movies, Atlantic City boardwalk, and McDonalds, but for kids who can’t drive, what more can be done? This is one of the many reasons I didn’t really fit into most of my young life. I didn’t know what to do. People growing up at different paces and being judged at every turn. It takes a whole lot of life to tell you which things matter. The day before I got the break-up letter we were supposed to see The Lion King 2. I called, emailed, IM-ed, but she wouldn’t answer. Her mom did on the phone; said, “I don’t think she’ll be going.” I wonder if it was hard for Beth to write that letter– if she had unmet expectations and ambitions, like adults do when relationships crumble– or if she just got sick of our 56K romance and decided to call it quits. Now I can only wonder what the letter said– I didn’t know the significance that communication and words would have for me in the future. (I do remember reading the letter while on the toilet in the bathroom.) My sister took me to see The Lion King 2 that day-before-dumping, and I don’t recall enjoying it all that much. Or the Squirrel Nut Zippers, for that matter. And every time I call GoDaddy, I’m reminded of it all over again.