What Have I Done to Deserve This? – Pet Shop Boys

ActuallyBrought back into my life– resurrected from my young mind– by Rules of Attraction, this is one of those strange songs that lived dormant in my brain for years before I heard it as an adult. So I ask you, why did I know it so well from being a kid? I don’t know for sure, unless you consider that I was preparing myself for life to come. I love Dusty Springfield’s part1: “You went away, it should make me feel better, but I don’t know how I’m gonna get through.” Or maybe it’s the song itself. It’s unpredictable to me– the singing, the spoken word, the voices themselves. I’m not deep into the Pet Shop Boys, but I’ve always loved this song. And as I still work at finding myself– a lifelong search for anyone interesting, I say– I still find something fresh and new each time I listen to this song. As I write this up, it’s “You always wanted me to be something I wasn’t… Now I can do what I want to forever/ How’m I gonna get through?” I love that sense. Freedom, but now what? I’ve always had that feeling in life. People tell me “You’re young, you’re healthy, you have a steady income– you can do whatever you want.” What the hell does that mean?

  1. Dusty Springfield, who’s Greatest Hits give me a calming country-soul vibe when needed. []
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