Cloud Cult’s The Meaning of 8 really blew me away when I heard it, so I dug through the back catalog and found this song. The timing was impeccable. There was this girl who I met online, we had friends in common, and she was cute and funny and all that dumb shit. They say that you should be bold, right? You should take steps or something to make yourself memorable. They tell you that, but it’s crap. I baked Nora a cake. A peanut butter cake from scratch with decoration and everything. It was delicious, though she wouldn’t know. She wouldn’t see me to accept it. I felt really dumb and shitty that day and found this song soon after. I remember contemplating things to do with the cake with friends– throwing it up to her balcony, giving it to the homeless, ceremoniously throwing it out. Ultimately, I just gave it to a friend after I cut a hole in the middle. I didn’t understand why I wanted to cut a hole in the middle of the cake first. I think it was a metaphorical heart of the cake that I cut out, and I backed off of her for a while. She touched base with me a few times, stood me up another time, and we eventually did get together once or twice, when all the people she knew in town moved away after college. When I think about her I do feel bad, but I don’t blame her. People can be weird these days, and I’m sure I came across pretty weird. Plus, she seemed keenly aware that she was cute and witty, so she probably figured she could have done better. Maybe she was doing better, for all I know. Even though I really like this song, that’s why I don’t like to hear it.